By SamB – rhymes with Bambi
We (the American people) are standing in an immense auditorium, staring at a giant movie screen. On the screen: a close-up of George W’s smiling face. He says, “Foreign policy is actually very simple.It’s made up of two parts: threats and bribes. In that order. First threats. then bribes. Because . . . (the camera pulls back to reveal that W is wearing a Mary Poppins outfit. He dances off down the street singing, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, medicine go down”.
All at once we hear barking sounds and a little white dog runs across the auditorium floor to pull the curtain off an inconspicuous black booth. Inside is George Bush Sr., who looks startled. “IGNORE THE MAN IN THE BOOTH!” he shouts. He pulls a lever and, on the screen, W’s leg shoots up in the air above his head. “Damn,” cries Senior. “Wrong lever! IGNORE THE MAN IN THE BOOTH!” He pulls another lever and the camera moves in so that on the screen we now see a close-up of W’s face. W says, “Ignore the man in the booth!”
Senior pushes another button and the image on the screen cuts to a close up of Dick Cheney, who is scowling and giving us the finger. “Ignore the man in the booth!” he commands. Senior pushes another button and the screen is filled with with Paul Wolfowitz looking like Dr. Strangelove. “Ignore the man in the booth!” he barks. Another button and we see an extreme close-up of Karl Rove, snarling menacingly and whispering, “Ignore the man in the booth!”
Everyone is staring at the man in the booth. Senior pushes another button. The screen fills with the face of Hillary Clinton. “My opponent has little foreign policy experience,” she declares. “I, on the other hand, have as much foreign policy know-how as Laura Bush!” She looks into the camera, “And I swagger like George W. would if he were wearing a skirt and high heels.” The camera pulls back. She smiles slightly and says, “And if anyone calls me at three in the morning, I don’t care who it is, I’ll nuke them. It doesn’t matter who cheats or lies. Only who wins.
People are now ignoring the man in the booth. Many are staring at their own shoes. Others are openly weeping. The woman standing next to me pulls out her cell phone, stares at it a moment and mutters, “Oh damn! I almost forgot they’re all tapped.” Stay tuned for more and more.
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I've thought about this profoundly while consuming about a gallon of caffienne: WHY WON'T HILLARY RELEASE HER TAX RETURNS? And I was only able to come up with one answer: She's made millions of dollars investing in companies that moved their manufacturing to other countries as per NAFTA. Smart move, Hillary! Try to avoid saying those three little words to the appropriate person on your staff: Release them now! At least until after the primaries. After the elections, if possible.
